Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
