yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize