im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
