Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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(360): View more from Washington

drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience

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(815): View more from Illinois

I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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(713): View more from Texas

Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!

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(812): View more from Indiana

Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..

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