he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont even know how to be here
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
