It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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