Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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