put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
