gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
