My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
