and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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