She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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