sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
