i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
