That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
