it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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