why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
