the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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