So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love you. Go after that dick
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
