You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
