what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
