I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
