I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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