we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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