I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
