i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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