I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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