my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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