Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
