hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
