jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
