we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
