I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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