Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
