afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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