do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
