One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize