Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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