the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
