people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
