It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
