Three words: puerto rican gang bang
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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