WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
