Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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