Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
