kristin has been a bad kristin
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
