I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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