she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
