Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize