i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
