are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
