She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So squirting runs in the family.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
