I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
