He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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