Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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