Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
