Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
